Those Cynical Women Go to Gatlinburg! July 20, 2010

Those Cynical Women went on vacation, returned,  and reinvented themselves. In addition to the cartoons that their fans love, they will be bringing news, views, reviews, and opinions. Maybe even a few recipes.

There are plenty of reasons to visit Gatlinburg, TN, and one of the very best is the Annual Gatlinburg Craftsmen’s Fair, now celebrating its thirty-fifth year. The fair draws both artisans and visitors from throughout the southeast (and further) because of its superior artists and the wonderful selection of goods they display. Held twice a year, summer and fall, it’s an event that is well worth the price of admission ($6 a day; $8 for two days). The biggest problem fairgoers have is wondering where they could possibly put everything they want to buy.

Artists who work with wood, creating decorative pieces and furniture, are well represented, as are quilters and stained glass masters. There are knitters and people who work with fabrics in all sorts of interesting ways—quilts, wall hangings, doll clothes, baby clothes, artistic jackets, and so much more. One creative exhibitor displayed a crib set—bumper, pillows, skirt, diaper stacker, and anything else a nursery might require—in a green toile that was so delightful that we wished someone we knew was having a baby (it would take a whole lot more than that to make the Cynical Women wish they were having babies).

Speaking of babies…The Hat Lady (aka The Hat Lady of Maine—she’s relocated to South Carolina, but she doesn’t want to annoy her webmaster, so she’s keeping “Maine” in the name—aka Jan Weaver) was there. For those of you who are unfamiliar, The Hat Lady sells knitted hats and headbands. They start in baby sizes and I thought they only went up to seven-year-old, but I was mistaken. Her hats are pull-on caps, with or without ear-flaps and braided ties. A watermelon hat caught my eye, and I told FCEtier (my traveling companion and generous husband) that I’d buy one if they came in adult sizes. Well, what do you know? They do! Now, The Hat Lady has lots of other patterned hats (including American Girl-sized), and mail order and internet customers can have theirs custom made in the color combinations of their choice, as well as their choice of sports teams—yes, even local schools.

Perhaps everyone in the world would not be excited—though I can’t imagine why not—to get a watermelon hat. It’s much more of a statement than a red hat (nothing against Red Hat Societies, but the idea of wearing a red hat and purple dress to express myself among a group of ladies in red hats and purple dresses doesn’t work for me), and it is definitely more Miss Bob. FCEtier bought the hat for me and I couldn’t have been happier.

It was too warm to wear the hat in and around Gatlinburg, but not in the hotel. When we returned to our room, I happily put on my hat and kept it on for the rest of the day (and night!). I removed it to go out in the blistering heat to supper, and then again at bedtime.

There is no doubt in my mind that when fall comes, I’ll be in the hat for the long run. Yippee, I say. Why is it important to have a watermelon hat? Simply because when you have a watermelon hat nothing can bother you. You know how bugs have a way of bugging you? Well, after I got my hat, that’s exactly what happened—a nasty, miserable bug tried really hard to bug me. You know how it is when someone’s decided that making you look bad or ruining your day is the most fun he could ever have. But I thought about it and said, “I have a watermelon hat—nothing can ruin my day now.” And nothing did. I am now on a watermelon hat high, and bugs are going to have to die trying to bug me.

I realize that some people (especially over the age of, say, 20) would not be caught dead in a watermelon hat. That’s okay (because…I have a watermelon hat), they can get a strawberry hat, instead. Or maybe one with fluffy angora bunnies or kittens. The choices and color combinations are endless.

Please note: Bob's watermelon hat tale is excerpted from He Said/She Said, a regular feature on blogcritics.org. Read more: http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/i-have-a-watermelon-hat/page-3/#ixzz0uFRaTytF

As for the Gatlinburg Craftsmen’s Fair, in addition to the items already mentioned, there are always great foods and loads of jewelry artists. husband Chip (FCEtier) bought me three letter charms, two b’s and an o, made of pewter. No, they don’t spell Obb, silly. The array of jewelry is a died-and-gone-to-heaven experience for jewelry collectors. Pieces for every budget and taste are offered, and the variety of materials used and styles represented is tremendous. I did have to restrain myself and forgo the sterling silver basenji and four sterling silver cats, but there’s always the fall fair!

Show dates are July 16 through 24, and October 7 through 23. In addition to the beautiful works offered for sale, and the wonderful food, there are Country, Bluegrass, and Gospel music shows every day.

Gatlinburg also offers hiking, rafting, and athletic activities in the Great Smoky Mountains. Downtown Gatlinburg is a joy for carnival-lovers (especially at night, when all the neon highlights what some would call tacky and others would call fun). Imagine the best features of the boardwalk or carnival, then take a walk down Gatlinburg’s Parkway—they’re all there.

Gatlinburg abounds with tourist attractions, including Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies, Ober Gatlinburg, the Space Needle, a huge arts and crafts community, theaters, museums, shops, and a plethora of restaurants (I think it’s the pancake capital of the world!), serving everything from corn dogs to gourmet fare. Those with a sweet tooth should do everything in their power to visit one of the Aunt Mahalia’s Homemade Candies shop, where delightful, fresh goodies are abundant. The Cynical Women wouldn’t even think of visiting Gatlinburg without stopping at Aunt Mahalia’s.

There are many hotels, motels, and lodges from which to pick in Gatlinburg. Do you want to stay in a log cabin in the mountains? A luxury condo? A hotel in the middle of the action? A lodge/water park combo? There are plenty from which to choose, with rates for most budgets, from minuscule to no-holds-barred.

From June 11 through August 7, evenings come alive with the sound of music. No, not in the hills--downtown! Throughout the shopping/restaurants district, live music provided by bands and soloists give tourists another reason to visit Gatlinburg. Tunes and Tales provides music, storytelling, and craft demonstrations to suit a variety of tastes. The emphasis is on bluegrass and country, but you're sure to find some rock musicians, and a dulcimer player who offers both traditional and modern music.

Enjoy casual dining with  your entertainment--grab some caramel corn, tacos, a corn dog, cotton candy and a fresh lemonade to chow down on while you listen to the tunes.